I don't mind the army life. I really don't. I don't see my husband as much as I'd like, but we work with it and it's ok. It's nice to know that with enough persistence you can find someone that knows the answer somewhere. It's reassuring that if I cry in the PX for no apparent reason, someone else has done it too, and the other wives will guess that the husband is deployed. Somehow...we got put in the platoon and company from hell. Our first assignment and it's hell. Here I am crying once again because this is ridiculous. The other wives tell us newbs that it's not all like this. That we will get a better assignment. That my husband won't be an E-3 forever. We've even been told that we're lifer's because we're good at waht we do. Ha. Like that makes it easier. Like that makes sitting here and watching all the wrong things happen ok. I am avoiding telling the soldiers that I'm pregnant becaus I don't want to be involved in the drama. The wives that think they control the platoon and talk about things they shouldn't with people they shouldn't talk to. The Article 15's. The back stabbing. The fact that everyone trys so hard to get a leg up on someone else that they ignore the facts that they aren't perfect either.
So here I sit. Angry and crying. Another promotion. For another soldier with a couple of very impressive Article 15's on the way. He's also flagged. Can't pass tape. It is so frustrating. I feel as though we should just f*** up. It work's for everyone else. Lets crash a patrol car. Sleep with someone else's wife. Maybe I should pretend that it's someone elses baby, because trust me, that's what the cool kids do. Another new team leader. My husband isn't on a team at all at the moment. The are supposed to be training to deploy. There are soldiers without a team, and that have only gone to the range as a driver, now being told they are gunners. I am scared my husband is going to die, because someone does something stupid.
So there you go. A long post for a girl at a lost of words. I want to go somewhere that makes sense. I want to leave hell.
Chocolate Peanut Butter Energy Squares
1 year ago