Friday, August 6, 2010


I recently sat through a class intended to explain the emotions service members and their spouses feel at different times when prepping for a separation (and during our every day life.) One of the topics that kept coming up was how much I (as a spouse) sacrifice to be married to the army. Spouses can resent the sacrifice. They can use it as a weapon (I gave up my dreams/college/career/home/whatever for you). It can become a huge sticking point. While I understand this, I think it's kind of a cop out. My service member makes sacrifices for me and my family everyday. He works nights and weekends. He put his schooling on hold. He earns all the money while I don't have a job. I think it's an excuse to be unhappy especially when we think about our spouse.

Now mind, I have days too. I have days where I hate the army, this country, the army...I hate everything that has ever happened to have gotten me here. Right where I am today. But after a few hours of pouting I remember that I made every decision to get here. I am the one that married the man that was a soldier. I made the choice to follow him wherever he wandered and provide a home for him to return to.

In my mind sacrifice isn't a loss of something, but an opportunity to give something away with an open heart and a loving spirit. I gave away my safe job in return for a life to be proud of. I gave away my late night shoppette runs in return for the love of my son. I haven't lost anything that hasn't been replaced with something even more wonderful. When I hear people use sacrifice as an excuse is saddens me. It saddens me that they can't find the up side of the exchange.

Maybe next time you start resenting what you've sacrificed for your family, think about what you've gained in return. The love of a good man. Your beautiful child. A sense of independence and exploration you never would have had. An understanding of hard times and hope. There is a bright side. Sometimes you may just have to change your perspective to see it.


  1. I will admit I was resentful when we first got here. I woke up and went to bed daily going, THIS is what I sacrificed for. But as God beat me over the head with sticks (I love that line, thank you by the way) I learned this IS what I sacrificed for. An amazing husband whose work makes my struggles look small, friends who amaze and inspire me every day, and hopefully one day babies who I can devote myself to. Thank you for the reminder. You're one incredible woman my friend.

  2. Thanks for stopping my my blog. Im a new follower of yours.

    Your family is so cute. Can't wait to read more of your posts.