Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My husband. My hero.

*Beware slightly angry and highly frustrated rant to follow*

This is my husband in his natural habitat. In a carnival with a gun (and a beer). We just passed his year mark in the Army. I am so proud of him. I am so proud of everyone that serves. Army, Navy, Marines and all the extras. Each of them puts a little part of their lives up on a shelf and doesn't take it down for 5, 10, maybe 25 years. That part of independence where they can call into work because they want to. Earn more for working harder. Pull overtime if the want to, not because they are told to. Say no. Dress how the want to when they want to. How many other people are told what color underwear they have to wear? It's just underwear. Seriously!

My husband is a big boy. There is no denying it. But he's also super muscular. His calves are gigantic and well muscled. His biceps. His thighs. His problem is his "tummy." We both understand this and the fact that he "doesn't meet army standards." Get it! He passes his PT tests with flying colors. Has a higher score than many of those with "smaller statures." Because he is on the "Army Weight Control Program" he goes to PT twice a day every day. On his days off. On the days he works. Everyday. He is known as "the fat kid that's really good at PT." I feed him healthy food. Good food. Vegetables. Whole grains. Little red meat. Lots of chicken with lots of spices and not a lot of salt. I am a nurse. I know what good food looks like. We don't eat many processed foods. Fast foods. Desserts. He has been sent to the doctor for thyroid testing, blood sugars, and cholesterol testing. All of which came back normal or better. He went to a nice little talk which repeated what we already know. "Eat right, exercise, don't fall for fads." Anything new? He has yet to have anyone sit down with him one-on-one and work out a plan because obviously two-a-day PT and what I'm feeding him AREN'T WORKING.

He has his ducks in a row. He shows up on time every time with the right equipment. He's generally invisible unless someone is tearing him down for being fat. He does his job and others. No public drunkenness. No drunk and disorderly. No domestics. Nothing. No crashed patrol cars. He actually patrols when on duty rather then coming home or hanging out in the clubs. He respects his superiors. NCO's, Officers, doesn't matter. He is a damn good soldier. Just a chubby one.

He will be flagged. Non-promotable. PFC forever. Fine. If he dies to save another's life when they are deployed he will not be eligible for medals. Because he isn't the standard. OK. Whatever. Your rules we just play by them. They keep telling us they will chapter us (him) out. Go for it. He doesn't meet standard. I understand. We will do fine in the civilian world. We were both good at our jobs. They would take us back in an instant. I understand all that. What I don't understand is how my healthy as a horse but slightly overweight husband is a.) not getting the help he needs. and b.) how he is non-promotable and not to be put into any positions of authority but those that are guilty of adultery by army standards or drunk and disorderly or better yet drunk on duty are doing just that. Moving up the chain of command. What makes them better or more capable than my husband? They don't yet have their European license. Can't drive the patrol car. They are cops. How does that work without a license? These people went through basic with my husband so they have no more time and service and are of lesser rank. I am frustrated.

Now after my nice an informative rant here is why my husband is my hero. He keeps going. He is told daily that he is a Piece of Sh*t fat Private. A f***-up. He goes back twice a day and runs faster than he did the day before. He wakes up at 5 on his days off to go to PT. I would have flipped out by now. He is working his tail off and no one seems to notice or care or even try to help. He wants to go down range so that he can do his job. Fight for his country. He keeps his head down and does his job. He is a good man and a good soldier regardless of the fact that he is overweight. Deal. Do you know what that makes my husband to me? My hero. A better man than most. And he will always be MY POS Private regardless of what the army says. He is my Hero. Deal with it.


  1. How awful, it definitely sounds like he's making an effort...but I know too well what the military is like, and unless you are exactly within their "standards" then you aren't worth anything. It frustrates me beyond anything that good and decent people who are working hard and doing their jobs are treated like that, and then there are others who just skate by and get everything. I hope that he's able to get what he needs to either continue in the military or come home. Best of luck...

  2. Mary Teresa, good for you! And good for your husband! Hang in there. Try to have a positive outlook (Oh man, here's the old 41 year old woman in me talking)...keep doing the best that you both can do, focusing on what is important and not on resentment. Karma is real. I promise. If you hold your heads up. Do your best. Wish others nothing but good, even though you think it may kill you...good things will happen. I promise, Sweetpea. You guys stick together. Keep lifting one another up. Good things...great things will follow. :) Love, Amy

  3. We're hanging in here. Luckily he's a lot less emotional than I so most days he just doesn't let it affect him. =D