So I was gonna post Berlin zoo pictures today. Instead we're going to talk about the fact that the baby spends the bulk of his time screwing with my head. I have had the CRAZIEST dreams in recent weeks. I am blaming them on being pregnant, because seriously, they are weird.
I have had a couple involving me being a vampire-esque monster that eats people. It's like a crap horror movie. I try to convince my monster significant other--so far played by my husband--that we can stop the monsters and become good people. It's craziness.
Next we have the dream from yesterday night. In this one, a member of your NCO team shot his wife multiple times and we were arresting him. Hmmm. AWKWARD! Seriously the baby is rewiring things that shouldn't be rewired. I was almost normal before this.
A few nights ago I had a dream about a Catholic church. I somehow got the job of handing out the Eucharist. (Which I have no idea how to do in real life. There is a lot of routine involved in it.) And then yelled at the priest because I had to leave to go get my baby...where ever I left him...and he wouldn't let me. Odd. Very, very odd.
Then last night I had one involving poorly shaving my legs. I first tried to use baby oil and ended up dulling my razor without actually cutting any hair. So I tried again with the shower on and a dire hopeless search for a new razor. Note this entire time I was trying to shave my legs I was wearing a dress...even in the shower. Who knows? I finally sadly decided that I would go...well where ever I was going in pants because I had man legs and had repeatedly failed to shave them.
The worst part is I wake up and remember these increasingly odd dreams. I truly am blaming the baby because if it's not his fault then my subconscious is trying to tell me that I am a Catholic, people eater with hairy legs and violent tendencies...and I don't even want to guess what that means to a shrink.
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